DON’ T IGNORE SITUATION – firstly don’t ignore the situation any further. Seek help. For example, speak to your GP or health professional. There is no point suffering, help is at hand. Tell those closest to you about where you are at. They are very likely part of the current situation as well as the solution.
STOP! Slow down. Take stock of your life and start to see what is actually going on. How much you are doing. What are you doing? What is essential. What is optional. This is critical. Change is required so you have to take the time to take stock. There is no way around this.
REVIEW LIFE – write a list of all your commitments. Beside them write which ones are optional. Really think about this. Essential means your life depends on it e.g. financially or your children or family or your business relies on it for example.
DELEGATE – if something isn’t optional, consider – are you the only person who can do it? Can the commitment be shared or delegated? To your partner, colleagues, children (if old enough), other family members, friends or community members. Actively shed some of the items which are optional. This will be required. This is not optional. Especially if you are overcommitted. You have to create space for yourself to slow down, rest and rejuvenate.
SLEEP! – stop burning the candle at both ends. Sleep is necessary. Make sure you are getting 6-8 hours of solid sleep where possible. If you have completed the above and shed some commitments and delegated others, this will be possible. Self-discipline is necessary here. Limit screen time before going to bed. Give yourself some wind down time of at least 20 minutes.
EXERCISE / MEDITATE – exercise and/or meditate daily or even every 2nd day if that is easier. 15 to 20 minutes is better than nothing. It doesn’t have to be complicated. A small walk around the block walking the dog. Lying on the floor and breathing deeply for 5 to 10 minutes for your meditation and relaxation. Keeping things simple will help you commit to this.
CATCH UP – catch up with family and friends. Even if you don’t feel like it, being connected to others will lift your mood, make you feel less isolated and alone. Catch up “virtually” using social media if going out still feels like too much of an effort. If you feel comfortable, talk to them about where you are at. You may find you are not alone and you can share thoughts on how to tackle the situation or even get some assistance. Talking about the situation is not a sign of failure.
DONE is as GOOD as PERFECT! – think about what needs to be done. Most things don’t have to be done perfectly. Close enough is good enough! This includes a clean house, spotless children or car. If you have delegated tasks, don’t be upset if they are not done the way you would. Encourage assistance and practice gratitude.
POSSIBLE TASKS
>SEEK HELP E.g. make an apt with your GP and/or speak to your significant other/s about how you feel.
>LIST WEEKLY ACTIVITIES / RESPONSIBILITIES E.g. in a note book write down free hand all the things you have going on in your life. Tick the ones which are not optional. Double tick the ones which you could delegate in full or part. Put a cross beside the ones which are optional. The ones you crossed, highlight those that you don’t like or struggle with. This might be an indicator that it is time to stop doing these activities or find another alternative.
>SLEEP CHECK – how much sleep are you actually getting each week? Note in the last week when you got to bed and when you got up. Are you getting 6 to 8 hours sleep per day? On most days?
>EXERCISE / MEDITATE – commit to exercising and/or mediating every 2nd day this week at the very least. For 10 minutes minimum. This will start to create a new “habit”. You will start to feel better and reap the benefits of what you are doing and want to do it more so you can continue to reap further benefits. And so on…… get the picture?
>SCHEDULE A CATCH UP – E.g. in the next 2 weeks, schedule a “virtual” catch up or real catch up with a trusted friend. Something achievable. Not too difficult and with someone you feel completely comfortable with.
>DELEGATE! E.g. some mundane tasks this week to someone else. Notice if you have difficulty doing this or how they go about it. Be patient, be thankful and kind. Refrain from being critical. (Also see BLOG # 3).
Stay tuned for BLOG # 4 Part 4 – further steps once you’ve plugged that leak! Keep going, you are worth it.
Iris May 9th May 2020
Be Kind to Yourselves - BK2Y 