When I mention the word “positive”, does this make you feel positively nauseous!? Sound like Mary Poppins or Pollyanna? I can see where you’re coming from. To some people the idea of being told to “be positive!” is too cliched, insincere, put on and like faking it! There is however some truth in “faking it until you make it!” from my experience anyway.
Let’s face it, we don’t all wake up everyday leaping out of bed, full of joy, energy and ready to solve all our own problems, little own the worlds problems. I have found however that mindset and a positive frame of mind, can alter the way we approach our day, tackle tasks, listen and communicate and improve your chances of having a better day. I read recently that “you are the first victim of your negativity” (FB). That did make me sit up and listen.
So how do we help ourselves be more positive? Is there a magic bullet? Is it easier for some people, just not you! Well lately I have been testing this out. The good news is – anyone can do it! It does take practice, commitment and a little energy, but since you are the direct beneficiary of this positivity, what do you have to lose? Try some! Try all. Try something! Here goes:
SMILE! – yes smiling actually tricks your brain into thinking it is happy by releasing a chemical bomb of dopamine and serotonin which help lift our moods. In this case it might be a case of faking it until you make it!
INTENTION – we often carry out our tasks on a daily basis unconsciously and in autopilot. With some focused intent and more self-awareness, you can improve your positivity. Sometimes people “manifest” their intentions through writing out messages to remind them to be more conscious. Other people call these “mantras”. Whatever you choose to call them, they are personal and mean something to you. E.g. “today I chose to be patient with myself and others”. Or “today I would like to slow down and listen more carefully”.
GRATITUDE FOR THE LITTLE THINGS – pfftt you say! Blah blah… Well I’m not suggesting you sacrifice something to show your gratitude, but I think today we sometimes forget to appreciate the little things. Like our good health, a nice roof over our heads, the variety of food that we can buy at the supermarket, going for a walk with friends, and once upon a time going out for a meal.
BE A BIT ORGANISED – most days we know what is ahead. If you can be a bit organized in advance this will help with your positivity. Organise your lunch for tomorrow the night before. Put out your clothes or decide what you are going to wear. Some simple organisation can take away possible stress points each day and help you be more positive. If you start out the day disorganized, your mindset will be affected straight up and possibly for the rest of the day.
ACHIEVE SOMETHING – set a couple of achievable tasks for the day. Write them down so you can tick them off at the end of the day and have a sense of accomplishment. A “to do list” can help you focus and deal with priorities on a particular day. Other stuff that comes up can wait if it is not a priority. Multitasking is definitely overrated as well as setting yourself too many tasks you cannot achieve. This will definitely not lead to positivity!
EXERCISE – this doesn’t mean you have to be an Olympic athlete! Make time for some exercise each day if possible. This helps clear out stressful energy you may have accumulated throughout the day. Deep breathing can also help. I find I always feel more positive even after a short walk outside in the fresh air. I often see people I know on the way and say hi.
BE REALISTIC – happiness and positivity are not achievable 100% of the time. Recognize that not all things go to plan or work out the way we expect. Expect the unexpected! Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake or if a communication with someone goes South!
WHAT CAN I CONTROL – understand what you can and can’t control – the good news is very little! So, focus on your attitude and mindset which you can control. Focus on being as positive as possible even in the face of negativity! Albert Einstein said “stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution”.
CHECKIN IN – with friends and family. Being connected to people is an important aspect of being more positive. It can be in person, via a phone or video call, text or email. I find that the times I am feeling negative are often when I am disconnected, too introspective and start dwelling on things internally. Reflection is a healthy practice, but not in isolation of others and the real world. Balance is necessary.
FUN – Make time for fun, doing nothing and relaxing – this requires little explanation, but how many people forget to do this? All work and no play = boring, tired, grumpy, stuck in the grind, lack of creativity – doesn’t sound very positive! Make plans at least once a week to have fun.
Here’s to more positivity. No nausea involved. Just another way to be kind to yourselves.
Iris May 11th May 2020
Be Kind to Yourselves - BK2Y 