BLOG # 10 Body – have I told you lately I love you?

Dear Body,

Have I told you lately I love you? Have I told you lately that I care? That I love all the parts of you, whatever shape and size they are.  I love my curves and softness; my hugs are large and true. But most of all I love you, for how incredible you’ve been and are.

How many of you have sung this song to your body lately? Sound crazy? No – not the idea of singing to your body, the idea of loving your body, regardless of what shape, size, length, width it is!

The facts on how most of us feel about our bodies, speak volumes! 90% of people are unhappy with their body (Get the facts).  Yes, speaking of bodies – volume is not a bad thing!  Sadly, only 4% of women in the world think they are beautiful! (Thrive global). The truth is that despite all the images we see and that are projected our way especially from the media about what a “typical” body looks like – the proof is definitely not in the media pudding – there are so many different types of bodies, shapes, frame sizes and the like out there.  Only 5 to 10% of people actually have a body like those projected in the media, and most of these images have been edited and photoshopped anyway! Don’t fall for the media hype that we should all be a size 6 to 8, be super toned and fit and never let a morsel of fat or carbohydrate pass through our lips.  

At the tender age of 51 (!) I am totally in love with my body – voluptuous, healthy, strong, robust and capable.  It can do so many things.  I live in wonder every day at the miracle of life and all the things my body has done, continues to do and will do – hopefully for many decades to come.  It is important to embrace who we are.  I have never been a thin wafer and if I have ever considered myself to be thin (size 10 to 12 & 14 to 16) I have had to starve myself and exercise like a champion race horse.  Needless to say, it didn’t last long and I have always gravitated back to a healthier more balanced version of myself which is somewhere between sizes 16 to 18 and even 18 to 20.  Most people say they cannot believe I am these sizes, but once again I am tall, have a solid frame and tend to be on the slightly heavier side and I feel completely normal.  I feel no shame about my body.  I dress to suit my body and to make myself feel confident and good about myself – only for me.   

Having a “positive” relationship with our body is an important part of being kind to ourselves.  Comparing ourselves to others in any way is never helpful.  We are all unique but the same! There are differences but also common threads. To accept ourselves as we are is one of the greatest acts of kindness we can have for ourselves.  This includes what we have been given genetically for our bodies.  Genetics are a lottery.  It is not like we got to choose our genetics. Why waste time pushing against the grain and what we are not naturally and work with what we have and do this positively? Sounds easier to me!

Some signs you may not have a positive relationship with your body:

• You are always on a diet.
• You feel guilty if you don’t exercise.
• You binge eat then restrict food intake.
• You compare your body constantly to others.
• Your mood and confidence are determined by how you feel about your body.
• You buy smaller clothes than you fit into now.
• Refuse to be naked in front of anyone.
• Make negative comments to others about our body.
• Always think “one day when I am thinner or smaller”.

What type of bodies do partners like?

Well, the answer to that is I don’t really care! The research indicates that there is a wide (!) spectrum in terms of what partners like and find attractive in another person (Shape.com). A proportionate and healthy body seems to be more important than size. At the end of the day personality and confidence also count.

Let’s all have a go at changing the conversation around bodies.  It starts with us.  It starts with you.  Here are some ways to step up the conversation and shift attitudes:

• Give compliments to others, not just about how they look, but also their attitude, personality, confidence and achievements.
• Let your personality shine! This is what other people notice and see more than your body.
• Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not others.
• Post honest photos on social media of yourself.
• Project confidence from the inside out.
• Treat all people the same regardless of their body. Everyone is valuable and equal.
• Don’t complain about your body. Focus on the positives and be grateful for having a body!
• Find clothing styles that you feel comfortable in and enable you to feel confident with your body.
• Avoid people who are critical of you in relation to your body or other people’s bodies. Tell them this is not acceptable for you.  
• Focus on having a healthy mind and body, rather than a particular size or shape of body.

Written by my gorgeous healthy and fabulous body and mind for you. Be kind to yourselves.

Iris May 23^rd June 2020