As an adult – how often do you factor in having fun? Adulting can be exhausting and I must say sometimes I just feel I don’t have the energy, time or motivation for fun. Then when I do actually have fun, I think to myself “why don’t I do this more often?”! I feel happy, light, relaxed, more connected and balanced. My worries and problems also lessen. In order to achieve balance in our lives and the way we feel about life, fun is an essential and important part of this process. What do they say? “all work and no play – makes for a very boring and dull life”. Who wants that? Not me. Ever. Never! I know life is hectic and often over scheduled. It can be hard to find time to schedule fun. Fun is however NOT overrated, so I suggest that part of the process of being kinder to yourselves is to not overlook making sure you have fun.
FUN can mean:
F – Fabulous, Family, Friends, Fine things, Finding yourself, Freedom, Funny, For no reason
U – Unplanned and Unedited!
N – Nice, Naughty!, Needs, Necessary
What fun looks like for me:
>Taking a drive to the beach by myself
>Walking along the beach or paddle boarding
>Catching up with a special friend for a quick drink and chat
>Booking an Airbnb place for a night somewhere
>Having a cocktail party – I’ve even had a “virtual” cocktail party during ISO
>A winery tour with friends (and transport!)
>Catching up with old friends for dinner
>Being creative and making something crafty
>Doing something new and even possibly scary! (the last part is optional!)
>Visiting all of our capital cities (I’m part way there!)
The sky’s the limit!
Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, complicated or require a huge amount of planning. Often it is the simple easy things that can be the most fun. Consciously plan fun. It doesn’t always happen otherwise.
Task:
>Write a description of what fun means for you?
>Jot down a list of activities that you consider would be great fun
>Beside your list of activities write a possible timeline when you could have this fun
This is another topic close to my heart. I have an amazing circle of sisters. By sisters I am not necessarily talking about blood sisters or family but they count too! It has taken me some time to find my tribe of sisters! We are all unique, come from different pathways, histories, life experiences, family dynamics, values and points of view. Finding the right fit and tribe is not always a clear-cut journey. I am 51 years old and I value so much having arrived at this place with my strong circle of friends.
In today’s world, meeting your tribe of people as an adult is not always as easy as it sounds. I work full time, have juggled this while studying, raising 3 children, commuting long distances to and from work, helping a husband run a business and maintaining a rural property. Where was there any time to make friends? The right friends. While our children are growing up, we are often thrown into the mix with a variety of other people associated with our children. Parents from school, the local sporting club, at the Saturday sausage sizzle you help out with. These are often fleeting interactions or even transactions! Exchanging a child or three, a few quick words or a wave. There were times I thought about giving up. It all seemed too hard in addition to my hectic life and complicated life story. Luckily there were a few people who didn’t give up on me and have held on for the ride! They know who they are….
I grew up in the country in a rather isolated set of circumstances. I left home at the age of 18 and went to live in the city. I left behind my parents, all of my friends also moved away to other parts of Australia, and I knew very few people when I landed in the big smoke. Then over a decade later I moved to a country town about an hour out of the city. Once again, I did not know anyone. I continued to commute back to the city for work. I had 3 young children and a husband who also commuted back to the city for work every day. Sometimes when we are in the throes of change, raising our young families and working, there is little time to think about ourselves. We get lost in the mix. We lose our confidence. We no longer know who we are. I had gone from being a capable successful career person, in control of my life and somehow ended up lost amidst a sea of nappies, toys, pureed food and exhaustion. The story does get better and wasn’t all bad news! Following are some tips on ways you can try and find your tribe:
>NEVER GIVE UP! Times have changed and very few of us are surrounded on a daily basis by immediate family and lifelong friends. It is important to be connected to other likeminded people. As humans we are social creatures. We need to be able to have real conversations, share experiences or problems and have a handful of people we can ask for help from time to time. I never gave up on myself. It was worthwhile!
>KNOW WHO YOU ARE – I’ve arrived at this special place at the age of 51 really knowing who I am. I am proud of who I am. I embrace who I am. Warts and all. Life has shown me a variety of experiences and while some have been particularly unpleasant, they are part of who I am. They have given me a rare insight into what being a human is – the human condition! We all do our best at any given time given the knowledge, experience and resources available to us at any point in time. I have more compassion, mostly for myself. I am kinder to myself. I think when you know who you are, are real, authentic and true – this is when you attract the right people as true friends.
>DON’T ALTER WHO YOU ARE – if this is ever required to please or fit in with others, from my experience this is a fair sign the people involved are definitely not your tribe of people! Not everyone you meet is. Again, there is that saying “you are not everyone’s cup of tea”. I hate tea! The reverse is also true – “everyone is also not your cup of tea!” or in my case coffee, gin and tonic…… You are not here to please all types of people. You will not be liked by everybody nor will you connect with or like every person you meet. I think this is a modern pressure, a modern phenomenon, to be seen as popular, well-liked by everybody across all of your realms and communities of life. The day I gave this up – I started to live more freely, authentically, honestly, more lightly, carelessly, effortlessly – I actually started to like myself more! I stopped wasting energy on the wrong people, relationships, groups, activities…… the list goes on.
>YOUR KIDS FRIENDS PARENTS – are not necessarily your friends! Don’t assume they will be your tribe. There is that saying “a friend for a reason, a friend for a season or a friend for life”. This was a very important lesson learnt for me. Often the hard way. I invested energy in the wrong places and did too many favours for people who were never going to return any to me. I think the term “try hard” comes to mind!
>JOIN SOME LOCAL GROUPS / ACTIVITIES – there isn’t some magic formula to finding your tribe. Often it is trial and error. This could be called “character building”! Joining a likeminded group or activity is a good way to test the waters. Once again if you “feel” the people are not necessarily your kind of people, for whatever reason, don’t feel you have to persist. I am not saying give up! It does take time to get to know people and for them to get to know you. It might be a simple thing like they are only available to meet during the week and you are only free on the weekend.
>LIFE IS BUSY – we all have lots of different things going on at the same time. Don’t try and overschedule yourself with activities and friends. Focus on quality. Testing out a range of activities might be a good way at the outset to meet different people and work out where you best fit. Once you have worked this out, focus your energies. Quality friendships are invaluable. They lead to real friendships with depth, understanding and real connection.
>LESS is MORE – this follows on from the above. Popularity is usually a poor indicator of having found your tribe! Your tribe means people who you have a deep connection with, they know and understand you and you also know and understand them. It is a reciprocal arrangement. Like borrowing a trusty good book from the library! They are people who encourage you, are in your corner and have your back even during difficult times, journeys and situations. This is another indicator of someone who is your tribe!
>LIFE IS FOR ENJOYING – don’t take things too seriously! Attachment to things, people and outcomes can really take the joy, pleasure and lightness out of living. Go in to situations without any expectation. Whatever happens – happens! We don’t have any control over other people, their reactions or the way they receive or perceive us to a large extent. We don’t always know their “story” or where they are coming from. The only thing we know is ourselves! Intimately…… The only thing we can shape is our attitude and behaviour. I know I am making this sound easy, and I know sometimes it is not! We all need to find and have people in our lives that we connect with and friends, especially in these times where our families are often not nearby or if they are, don’t function necessarily!
>BE KIND TO YOURSELF! – our modern lives are full to the brim and often overflowing. Take the pressure off yourself. Cut yourself some slack! Your success doesn’t depend on how well connected and liked you are. Social media may convince you otherwise, but superficiality is not the name of the game. Joining every activity, committee, community group or endeavor will surely leave you burnt and wondering. Pick and choose. Be discerning. Don’t “give yourself away”, be it your time, energy or goodness. Value yourself and enjoy life. I don’t believe you “can have it all”. Quantity does come at the expense of quality.
Written from my heart to yours – remember, be kind to yourselves.
When I mention the word “positive”, does this make you feel positively nauseous!? Sound like Mary Poppins or Pollyanna? I can see where you’re coming from. To some people the idea of being told to “be positive!” is too cliched, insincere, put on and like faking it! There is however some truth in “faking it until you make it!” from my experience anyway.
Let’s face it, we don’t all wake up everyday leaping out of bed, full of joy, energy and ready to solve all our own problems, little own the worlds problems. I have found however that mindset and a positive frame of mind, can alter the way we approach our day, tackle tasks, listen and communicate and improve your chances of having a better day. I read recently that “you are the first victim of your negativity” (FB). That did make me sit up and listen.
So how do we help ourselves be more positive? Is there a magic bullet? Is it easier for some people, just not you! Well lately I have been testing this out. The good news is – anyone can do it! It does take practice, commitment and a little energy, but since you are the direct beneficiary of this positivity, what do you have to lose? Try some! Try all. Try something! Here goes:
SMILE! – yes smiling actually tricks your brain into thinking it is happy by releasing a chemical bomb of dopamine and serotonin which help lift our moods. In this case it might be a case of faking it until you make it!
INTENTION – we often carry out our tasks on a daily basis unconsciously and in autopilot. With some focused intent and more self-awareness, you can improve your positivity. Sometimes people “manifest” their intentions through writing out messages to remind them to be more conscious. Other people call these “mantras”. Whatever you choose to call them, they are personal and mean something to you. E.g. “today I chose to be patient with myself and others”. Or “today I would like to slow down and listen more carefully”.
GRATITUDE FOR THE LITTLE THINGS – pfftt you say! Blah blah… Well I’m not suggesting you sacrifice something to show your gratitude, but I think today we sometimes forget to appreciate the little things. Like our good health, a nice roof over our heads, the variety of food that we can buy at the supermarket, going for a walk with friends, and once upon a time going out for a meal.
BE A BIT ORGANISED – most days we know what is ahead. If you can be a bit organized in advance this will help with your positivity. Organise your lunch for tomorrow the night before. Put out your clothes or decide what you are going to wear. Some simple organisation can take away possible stress points each day and help you be more positive. If you start out the day disorganized, your mindset will be affected straight up and possibly for the rest of the day.
ACHIEVE SOMETHING – set a couple of achievable tasks for the day. Write them down so you can tick them off at the end of the day and have a sense of accomplishment. A “to do list” can help you focus and deal with priorities on a particular day. Other stuff that comes up can wait if it is not a priority. Multitasking is definitely overrated as well as setting yourself too many tasks you cannot achieve. This will definitely not lead to positivity!
EXERCISE – this doesn’t mean you have to be an Olympic athlete! Make time for some exercise each day if possible. This helps clear out stressful energy you may have accumulated throughout the day. Deep breathing can also help. I find I always feel more positive even after a short walk outside in the fresh air. I often see people I know on the way and say hi.
BE REALISTIC – happiness and positivity are not achievable 100% of the time. Recognize that not all things go to plan or work out the way we expect. Expect the unexpected! Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake or if a communication with someone goes South!
WHAT CAN I CONTROL – understand what you can and can’t control – the good news is very little! So, focus on your attitude and mindset which you can control. Focus on being as positive as possible even in the face of negativity! Albert Einstein said “stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution”.
CHECKIN IN – with friends and family. Being connected to people is an important aspect of being more positive. It can be in person, via a phone or video call, text or email. I find that the times I am feeling negative are often when I am disconnected, too introspective and start dwelling on things internally. Reflection is a healthy practice, but not in isolation of others and the real world. Balance is necessary.
FUN – Make time for fun, doing nothing and relaxing – this requires little explanation, but how many people forget to do this? All work and no play = boring, tired, grumpy, stuck in the grind, lack of creativity – doesn’t sound very positive! Make plans at least once a week to have fun.
Here’s to more positivity. No nausea involved. Just another way to be kind to yourselves.
REVIEW FINANCES – review your financial situation. Often when we are overscheduled and busy, we purchase things and spend money on things unconsciously. This puts us under further financial strain and the cycle continues. Doing a budget might be the last thing you have energy for. Once you have started to rejuvenate, this is a task I strongly recommend you undertake. Having a clear understanding of how much money is coming in, and how much is going out! What is the gap? Live life more simply and with more consciousness. You will find you don’t need as many things as you thought! This has been my personal experience and it has been worth it.
REDUCE WORKING HOURS – take some time off in the short term e.g. a week or two or schedule a day off on a Friday or Monday so you get a long weekend. This will create some space for you to take a good look at the inner workings of your life. You could even ask your boss if you can work less days a week e.g. 4 days a week even if for a month only. If you have reviewed your financial situation, you might find ways to spend less money and therefore work less hours or shed one of those multiple jobs you have!
SCHEDULE YOU time – once a week at least, take time out from everything. Even if it is only 15 or 20 minutes, away from your responsibilities and pressures. You will start to feel things again. See things more clearly. Your creative juices may even begin flowing! Ask your partner or family for help if you need children looked after so you can schedule YOU time.
SAY NO! Learn to say NO! This was one of the most important lessons for me. This included the children on demand expecting me to do something, take them somewhere or solve a problem. People, including work colleagues and children need to understand you are a human being. You have a capacity. Some things (most things) can wait a little. Very few things need to be done immediately. You can say “I will get back to you about that”, or “we will do that at 5pm today or after dinner”.
HEALTHY EATING – eat healthily when possible. Do some meal planning each week so when you go grocery shopping you know what you need to purchase. This helps reduce the cost of your weekly grocery bill and enables you to plan more healthy meals. This includes food while you are at work.
OUTSOURCE – some of your commitments or responsibilities if you can afford to. This might include a house cleaner once a month or fortnightly. Getting a gardener in once a month or the lawns mowed.
CREATIVITY – engage in some type of creative activity. Something which has no particular purpose, function or even outcome. It can be anything. You don’t even have to be very good at it! This uses a different part of your brain and may help you relax and unwind.
ACTION – be in action about the situation. The situation will not resolve itself mysteriously! There are no short cuts or magic bullets. You can do it. That is the good news. This is an opportunity to design a better life that works for YOU!
POSSIBLE TASKS – only when you are ready and have some energy:
>APPROACH YOUR BOSS – about scheduling some leave from work over the next few weeks or month. It might only be one day or it could be a few.
>SCHEDULE “ME TIME” – speak to your partner or family about getting at least 1-hour ME time sometime each week. You get to choose what you do during this time.
>PRACTICE SAYING “NO” – consciously think before you say “yes” I can or will do that! Pause. You can also change your mind and say something else came up or you realise now that it won’t be possible. Each time you say no, acknowledge yourself. Keep practicing.
>MEAL PLAN – write a meal plan for the next 3 days or 3 days next week. Before doing this have a look in your cupboards, fridge and freezer to see what you already have. This might give you some ideas immediately. Write a list of things you still need to buy to make these 3 meals. Go shopping. Only buy what is on your list. Get family members to help if possible.
>OUTSOURCE – identify what things you could outsource, how much they might cost you and how frequently. Ask a friend for some input. They may have other ideas.
>WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF FUN? – if someone asked you what do you like to do just for fun – what would it be? List at least 4 things.
>REMEMBER – being kind to yourself is necessary. Take care of yourself. Listen to yourself. Your inner voice. Your tuition. Sometimes called your “wise one”.
Join together in being kind to ourselves and others.
Iris May 9th May 2020
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More information is available at Beyond Blue https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or call 1300 22 4636. Alternatively call Lifeline on 13 11 14. See our disclaimer.
DON’ T IGNORE SITUATION – firstly don’t ignore the situation any further. Seek help. For example, speak to your GP or health professional. There is no point suffering, help is at hand. Tell those closest to you about where you are at. They are very likely part of the current situation as well as the solution.
STOP! Slow down. Take stock of your life and start to see what is actually going on. How much you are doing. What are you doing? What is essential. What is optional. This is critical. Change is required so you have to take the time to take stock. There is no way around this.
REVIEW LIFE – write a list of all your commitments. Beside them write which ones are optional. Really think about this. Essential means your life depends on it e.g. financially or your children or family or your business relies on it for example.
DELEGATE – if something isn’t optional, consider – are you the only person who can do it? Can the commitment be shared or delegated? To your partner, colleagues, children (if old enough), other family members, friends or community members. Actively shed some of the items which are optional. This will be required. This is not optional. Especially if you are overcommitted. You have to create space for yourself to slow down, rest and rejuvenate.
SLEEP! – stop burning the candle at both ends. Sleep is necessary. Make sure you are getting 6-8 hours of solid sleep where possible. If you have completed the above and shed some commitments and delegated others, this will be possible. Self-discipline is necessary here. Limit screen time before going to bed. Give yourself some wind down time of at least 20 minutes.
EXERCISE / MEDITATE – exercise and/or meditate daily or even every 2nd day if that is easier. 15 to 20 minutes is better than nothing. It doesn’t have to be complicated. A small walk around the block walking the dog. Lying on the floor and breathing deeply for 5 to 10 minutes for your meditation and relaxation. Keeping things simple will help you commit to this.
CATCH UP – catch up with family and friends. Even if you don’t feel like it, being connected to others will lift your mood, make you feel less isolated and alone. Catch up “virtually” using social media if going out still feels like too much of an effort. If you feel comfortable, talk to them about where you are at. You may find you are not alone and you can share thoughts on how to tackle the situation or even get some assistance. Talking about the situation is not a sign of failure.
DONE is as GOOD as PERFECT! – think about what needs to be done. Most things don’t have to be done perfectly. Close enough is good enough! This includes a clean house, spotless children or car. If you have delegated tasks, don’t be upset if they are not done the way you would. Encourage assistance and practice gratitude.
POSSIBLE TASKS
>SEEK HELP E.g. make an apt with your GP and/or speak to your significant other/s about how you feel.
>LIST WEEKLY ACTIVITIES / RESPONSIBILITIES E.g. in a note book write down free hand all the things you have going on in your life. Tick the ones which are not optional. Double tick the ones which you could delegate in full or part. Put a cross beside the ones which are optional. The ones you crossed, highlight those that you don’t like or struggle with. This might be an indicator that it is time to stop doing these activities or find another alternative.
>SLEEP CHECK – how much sleep are you actually getting each week? Note in the last week when you got to bed and when you got up. Are you getting 6 to 8 hours sleep per day? On most days?
>EXERCISE / MEDITATE – commit to exercising and/or mediating every 2nd day this week at the very least. For 10 minutes minimum. This will start to create a new “habit”. You will start to feel better and reap the benefits of what you are doing and want to do it more so you can continue to reap further benefits. And so on…… get the picture?
>SCHEDULE A CATCH UP – E.g. in the next 2 weeks, schedule a “virtual” catch up or real catch up with a trusted friend. Something achievable. Not too difficult and with someone you feel completely comfortable with.
>DELEGATE! E.g. some mundane tasks this week to someone else. Notice if you have difficulty doing this or how they go about it. Be patient, be thankful and kind. Refrain from being critical. (Also see BLOG # 3).
Stay tuned for BLOG # 4 Part 4 – further steps once you’ve plugged that leak! Keep going, you are worth it.
OVER RESPONSIBLE – basically the demands and responsibilities you have in your life exceed your available resources, capacity and sometimes even abilities and experience. In mathematical terms this creates a deficit!
WORKAHOLIC – you are a workaholic and have difficulty creating boundaries around your work life and personal life. You are always thinking about work, even when you are not at work.
PERFECTIONIST – perfection is the only way for you. Everything has to be finished, completed in a certain way or it isn’t worth doing.
OVERCOMITTED – saturating your life with constant commitments. There is always something going on, be it work, family, children, social, community. You are overcommitted!
NEVER RELAX – you don’t know how to relax. Relaxing and sitting still for you are torture! Difficult. You always have to be doing something, ticking off some sort of “to do list”, achieving or fixing something. You don’t know how to just do nothing.
CANNOT SAY NO – you have difficulty saying no. You feel you must be available to everyone. Everyone is dependent on you in some kind of way. If you say no you feel guilty, selfish or worry people will think you are uncaring.
CANNOT ASK FOR HELP – difficulty asking for assistance or help. (see blog #3!) . You feel you don’t have anyone you can ask for help. Asking for help is a sign that you are not copping, don’t know how to do something or you feel vulnerable.
ADDICTED TO ACHIEVING – you are addicted to the feeling of achievement. Adrenalin and cortisol course through your body when you achieve things. You feel a buzz!
FINANCIAL STRESS – you are financially stressed and even possibly overcommitted. This means you work long hours or even multiple jobs to keep afloat.
NO FAMILY – your network of available family members and friends is limited, so in practical and real terms you don’t have anyone or only a few people you can ask for help. Your family may not live close by.
IT’S COMPLICATED! – your family dynamics are complicated and you are not in a position to ask anyone for help. This is more common than people think.
TASK – place a tick beside the ones you feel you are experiencing right now. Now place another tick beside the ones which you feel you are experiencing the most right now. You may end up with a double tick beside all of them, or only some of them. There is no right or wrong answer. The purpose of this task is to see what might be the key challenges for you right now.
Stay tuned for BLOG # 4 Part 3 – some practical ways to initially stop the leak in your tank! Here’s to getting started!
A topic close to my heart – only a few years ago I found myself with chronic burnout mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I hit ground zero when I got critically ill and needed major surgery. My body and mind were definitely telling me the game was up! Now I look back, this was a wake-up call to action. To make serious changes in all areas of my life effective immediately!
Chronic burnout is a serious health issue and according to Forbes Magazine, many people have experienced it in their lives before even turning 30! Add family responsibilities and potential health issues to the mix, and the chances you will experience burnout increase many fold as life goes on.
What does chronic burnout feel like? For me my brain felt fried, doing basic things and making normal decisions was overwhelming. I had this perpetual feeling of exhaustion – my tank was empty. In fact, my tank felt like it had a big leaky hole in it……I had no energy, motivation or desire to be kind to anyone, let alone myself. Our bodies and minds communicate to us about our wellbeing and when things are “not right”. I ignored these messages for a very long time.
Some signs of chronic burnout – physical and mental
EXHAUSTION – chronic exhaustion all of the time.
SICK – frequently getting sick e.g. colds, aches and pains.
ANXIOUS – feel anxious and overwhelmed about anything and everything.
NO SOCIAL LIFE – you have no energy to be social, hang out with friends or family.
NEGATIVE – feeling negative all of the time. You are easily frustrated, get angry and whatever you do you cannot shift this feeling. Everything seems pointless or difficult.
CANNOT THINK STRAIGHT – you have difficulty concentrating, solving problems and completing things, no matter how simple and straight forward they might be.
COMMUNICATING IS DIFFICULT – you find communicating with others difficult including putting across your point, you often feel attacked or put down, you are overly sensitive and reactive. This is affecting your interpersonal relationships across the board. At home, work and in your community.
POOR HEALTH – you are neglecting your health, not eating properly and not exercising.
EVERYTHING IS A CHORE – Work is a chore and you are unmotivated, possibly even making mistakes or having difficulties meeting deadlines.
TASK – place a tick beside the ones above you feel you are experiencing right now. Now place another tick beside the ones which you feel you are experiencing the most right now. You may end up with a double tick beside all of them, or only some of them. There is no right or wrong answer. This task is just to provide you with some feedback on what your body and mind might be telling you right now.
Stay tuned for BLOG # 4 Part 2 – some of the reasons for chronic burnout – do any of these ring true for you?
It has been ingrained and programmed into me from very early on in life not to ask for help! Why? Is it some sort of virtue to try and do everything yourself? Never having to rely on others? A sign of failure if we need to ask for help? Research has shown (Psychology today) that the vast majority of us find it difficult to ask for help or assistance. Often it is because of the messages we have been given from our family when we were growing up, that there is value in working things out ourselves. Sometimes putting ourselves out there to ask for help makes us feel vulnerable, unsure or afraid of rejection. Perhaps in the past others have not viewed the request for assistance favourably and this prevents us from asking for help comfortably again. It can be a tricky area. I know!
Despite my resistance to asking for help, of late I have been “testing” getting more help. Instead of automatically doing things myself, I pause before doing so and I think “who can I ask for help?”. This has been at home, at work and amongst my “circle” of friends. As women we often just find doing everything ourselves just easier, but meanwhile those around us don’t necessarily see or value what we do. We can also be limiting the opportunity for those around us to connect with us and be enabled.
My “test” in getting help has certainly lightened my load at home particularly. I am getting help with cooking, taking out the garbage, hanging out the clothes, cleaning and gardening just to name a few. At work staff are helping me with my daily tasks during COVID 19. As a result of this they are starting to understand what is involved in what I do and appreciate some of the complexities and problems I face. Win win all round I say.
So I challenge you – conduct your own little “test” on asking for help. Nothing to lose I say. Only spare time and more appreciation to gain. Good luck.
Being kind to yourself is a very important thing. We are often kinder to others before we are kind to ourselves. If we spoke to others like we often speak internally to ourselves, we would not be very welcomed or accepted! Our internal dialogue and the expectations we set for ourselves are really more critical than how we relate to others. In fact it determines in many ways how we relate to others. If we set such critical and high expectations of ourselves, at the end of the day we diminish our capacity to genuinely be kind to others. First and foremost, being kind to ourselves and accepting of ourselves and who we are, gives us a true capacity to be kind, accepting, giving and compassionate to others. It starts from the inside and projects out. Make time and take the effort to be kind to yourself and compassionate to yourself. The world we live in is fast paced, complex, multilayered and high pressured. In some ways our lives are simpler e.g the wonders of modern communication and technology (phones, internet, machines to complete domestic duties), however the expectations set by society, ourselves and some of the complexities bought about my modern advancements make our lives more stressful and demanding (social media, education, family dynamics, relationships).
Remember – first and foremost – be kind to yourself!
Be Kind to Yourselves - BK2Y 