BLOG # 12 The Feminine Feminist!

I consider myself a dedicated feminist. I view life constantly through a feminist lens.  I question things, challenge norms and beliefs, always with this perspective in mind.  Despite the many gains we have made as women, there are still many things to question including the subtle opinions and beliefs that often go unnoticed, challenged or even recognized.  These things in particular I feel I have a responsibility to highlight, as they are often the most dangerous in their ability to shape opinions, societal structures, policy, attitudes, bias and beliefs without us even knowing it.  Sometimes my efforts are not always welcomed or appreciated but I continue in a dogged and determined fashion through repetition and on repeat!

This said, I value my femininity too. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive, with one traded for the other. I can be both – feminine and a feminist.  I appreciate and embrace all of my feminine qualities including my softness, desire for beauty and prettiness, compassion, wanting to nurture and care, collaborate with others, be a home maker, be part of a sisterhood, think with my heart and soul, just to name a few “feminine” qualities.  These qualities are not necessarily exclusive to women, men also have the capacity for such qualities.

My feminine qualities are within me very strongly, in the same way my feminist qualities are as well.  My feminist qualities draw on my skills of being inquisitive, participate in research, be analytical, wanting to shape reform, be a leader, create and see change.  My feminine and feminist qualities sit nicely side by side.  I am very comfortable with who I am.  I still find that some people cannot reconcile the two, as if they cannot be compatible or coexist or that by wanting to be both feminine and a feminist I “want it all” and that is not possible.

There is no compromise for me.  I am both and I don’t see any need to have to choose.  Once I personally accepted this as part of my life’s journey, I started to be much kinder to myself.  I stopped judging myself.  I stopped explaining or justifying myself to others, or reducing who I was because they did not feel comfortable with themselves or were confronted by the idea of questioning the “status quo”.  Discussion, conversation and dialogue about any topic is a very healthy state.  It allows us to see things for what they really are – often constructs made by our very own society – and as such this means they can be modified, dismantled and changed, especially if it means a more equal and fair playing field for all people regardless of gender.   It allows us to consider different perspectives, needs, drivers and points of view – regardless of gender. 

So, I say “here’s to discussion, questioning things if it feels right or necessary”.  Don’t be put off or down by others.  Have confidence and full belief in yourself.  Listen to your heart.  Listen to your gut. Make waves. Don’t be afraid.  We can be feminine and also a feminist!

Be kind to yourself.  Written from my feminine feminist heart for yours.

Iris May

20^th July 2020