Creating good habits for ourselves is part of taking care of ourselves and being kinder to ourselves. Creating good habits sets us up for success, a healthy routine and achieving some of the simple and more complex things in life. Our brains are designed to look for habits. They enable the brain to shortcut and use up less energy which is then available for more novel, new tasks or activities including learning new things, solving problems, being creative – to name a few. Pleasure chemicals are even released when you carry out a well programmed habit, like your brain is rewarding you for short cutting and reducing its load. (source: https://www.theworldcounts.com/happiness/the-importance-of-good-habits)
There are many regular and known things in our daily lives that we all need to achieve. We can plan good habits in order to achieve these things more easily and with less energy. This does not mean you have to do them all yourself. You can delegate things and get people to share the load.
Here are some of the routine daily things I have gone about creating a good habit for:
>Making my bed daily – if I do this each day after I get up, it seems to create a good starting point for the day. Some order and intention.
>Keeping on top of the laundry – I now only do my own laundry. I live in a cold climate and most of my washing is dried indoors. I do medium size loads frequently so I can dry things inside but keep on top of it. My children and partner do their own washing (yeh delegation!).
>Cooking dinner – I know that there are 7 meals a week to be cooked, so I plan what we are having each week and buy or ensure I have the ingredients available for them. There are 5 people in my family, so each of us takes at least 1 meal each to cook during the week. This spreads the load and reduces the number of visits to the supermarket and our weekly shopping bill.
>Keeping the floors clean – each day I quickly sweep my floors with a broom in the main living areas. This helps keep on top of the debris and then when it comes to vacuuming once a week, it is not so hard.
>Reducing ironing – for things that are wash and wear, I dry them on a coat hanger and then put them straight into my wardrobe once dry. I look for wash and wear items when buying new clothes so very few items ever need ironing. If something needs a little ironing, I put it in the dryer for 2 to 3 minutes, get it out, give it a shake and hey presto! No ironing required.
How to create a habit:
I really want to meditate daily and also wake up earlier so I can be less rushed and enjoy each morning. This is a habit I am finding very hard to achieve. What can I do to help set in place this habit?
>Know exactly what you want to achieve and why. Be specific.
>Keep it simple and achievable. Don’t have too many rules, steps or decision to get there.
>Identify obstacles or triggers that might get in the way. Think of ways to overcome these
>Get support from those around you so if you slip up or are tempted to slip up, they can help you refocus.
>Slip ups and mistakes happen. It takes time to create and instill a habit. The same applies to removing a bad habit.
>Keep trying. If something is really important to you, don’t give up. The satisfaction you will get from achieving something you really want, will be worth it.
Good and bad habits:
Unfortunately, our brain doesn’t know whether a habit is good or bad. It rewards both if a pattern is established! So sometimes it is not about creating good habits, but breaking bad habits. I have a bad habit of getting on my phone at bedtime and then staying on it in bed until very late. An hour or more can easily pass as I swipe, click and connect. The next day I don’t want to wake up early. No wonder I cannot achieve my goal of getting up earlier to meditate and enjoy each morning in a slower and more relaxed fashion!
Ways to break a bad habit:
>Replace a bad habit with a good habit. This acts as a reward or distraction.
>Get to the heart of why you are repeating this bad habit. What is the “payoff” or “gain” for you? What is the “cost” to you.
>Understand the triggers and patterns that lead you to acting out the bad habit.
>Get support from those around you so if you slip up or are tempted to slip up, they can help you refocus.
>Be intentional about creating good habits and breaking bad habits.
This is not about virtue!
The idea of creating good habits has nothing to do with virtue! It is about making your life easier. Write a list of 6 things that you would like to establish a good habit for. Then under each one write what is required to achieve it. Alongside this write what are some of the obstacles or things preventing you from achieving the habit. Think about how theses “issues” could be overcome and managed. E.g. delegation, focusing on only the things that matter, achieving less, saying no, putting aside dedicated “block out” time to achieve a task.
Happy helpful habit creating. Written from my heart for yours. Iris May 25th Sept 2020
Be Kind to Yourselves - BK2Y 
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